"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." - Albert Einstein

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Best And Worst Of YA Romances

No, not actual romance novels - just the little romantic subplots in the books.  I'm not that far gone.

Romance.  It makes some people - like a few of my friends - squeal in anticipation.  Who falls for whom?  What triangles or possibly quadrangles will there be?  Is it doomed love?  (Generally the answers, by the way, are, respectively: everyone, as many as possible, and of course it is.)

For my part, heavy-handed romance is just groan-worthy.  Shove a 'I want to be with you for eternity' in my face and I'll stab it with any handy pointed object.

But some authors are better about the delicate art of literary falling-in-love.  These authors are the ones that don't make you go 'Awww!  How cute!' - they make you go 'I hope they get through this, because they DESERVE each other.'

The following lists summarize my humble opinion of the best and worst of YA pairs.

Worst

5.  Meggie/Doria - Ink Trilogy, by Cornelia Funke
Oh, Meggie.  You had been so cool until this point.  The heroine who had done so much with her father Mo and her friends Dustfinger, Gwin, Farid, and the others, was reduced to love triangles.  Apparently Ms. Funke decided that Meggie could be retired from the cool-kid-hero role to the weepy-teen-girl role.  To make matters worse, Doria was barely a character - he was a name, given a cardboard body and a duty to lure Meggie away from the path of awesomeness.  So we have suddenly-lame Meggie and where's-my-personality Doria, leaving Farid, Meggie's previous suitor, out in the cold.  I'm sorry, Farid.  Ink fans know how you feel.

4.  Crowpaw/Feathertail - Warriors: The New Prophecy, by Erin Hunter
I love Warriors, don't get me wrong.  But Erin Hunter really got random with young, hot-headed apprentice Crowpaw and airheaded, ditzy Feathertail. I can understand why Crowpaw might get a little crush on Feathertail, who seemed to be the only one who could stand him.  But her falling for him?  How?  And can anyone say, creepy?  Besides, Crowpaw had too much potential to be stuck with her.  Thank goodness that romance didn't last long.

3. Luce/Daniel - Fallen, by Lauren Kate
Now, I was expecting this.  Pick up any new YA novel about fallen angels, like Lauren Kate's Fallen, and there's a 99 percent chance that the inevitable romance will stink.  But I wasn't expecting it to be that bad.  The only thing I can ask is... why?  Luce somehow falls in love with Daniel when he flips her off, when he ignores her at every turn, when he's scary as all get-out?  I don't care if it's destined or fated or whatever - that's just wrong.  Thanks, Ms. Kate, but some logic would be nice with the 'love'.

2. Merlin/Hallia - The Lost Years of Merlin series, by T.A. Barron
Again - Merlin, you were so cool!  Why?  Why must you fall in love with that proud deer-girl who doesn't deserve you?  In Merlin's case, it's not even that his and Hallia's romance was random and ill-founded.  It's that Hallia just does not fit Merlin.  Does she really love him?  All she can do is criticize him and spout anti-mankind drivel.  More importantly, why does Merlin put up with her? 

1. Max/Fang/Dylan - Maximum Ride series, by James Patterson
You know it's gotta be bad when the pair isn't even a pair.  I'm pretty sure most people already know about this horrible, horrible love-triangle-gone-Apocalypse, but I still think it deserves first prize.  After all, in The Angel Experiment, Max + Fang = cliché but acceptable pairing.  Come on, Fang was awesome with wings.  Now, as we move into the simply Angel age, Max is stupid, Fang is not Fang, and we have Dylan.  We've spent six books hearing that Fang is Max's soulmate.  Then a cute guy wanders in, and Max has doubts and Fang is smiling.  Sorry, JP.  I'm not buying.

Best

5.  Marak/Darsal - The Lost Books of History series, by Ted Dekker
Leave it to Dekker to come up with one of the best romances lately.  Marak doesn't show up until the sixth book of the series, Elyon, when Darsal is a now a woman, older and far more scarred than she was at the beginning in Chosen.  But that doesn't make Marak any less compelling.  No roses and chocolates for this pair - Marak is a Scab, a being Darsal has sworn to kill... and now has sworn to love.  I won't say anymore, but let me just say that Marak more than makes up for the loss of Darsal's previous lover.

4.  Nathaniel/Kitty - The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Jonathan Stroud
Who didn't guess in The Amulet of Samarkand that the streetwise girl Kitty would end up being Nathaniel's almost-love interest in the last book?  But the lack of surprise doesn't make them any less interesting.  Nathaniel's self-assured arrogance, mostly for show, plus Kitty's no-nonsense way of thinking... sparks fly.  Really.  Though there's never any real romance, the hints of it are tantalizing.  If you didn't want Nate and Kitty to end up together by the time you read half of Ptolemy's Gate, there is something wrong with you.

3. Artemis/Holly - The Artemis Fowl series, by Eoin Colfer
Oh, Artemis.  Oh, Holly.  Perfection - at least as close as it can get, even if Holly is a fairy and Artemis is human.  One of the reasons that they're such a compelling pair is that they're actually each other's weaknesses. With anyone else they would do what they had trained to do - for Artemis, commit crime; for Holly, solve crime.  But when one is in trouble, the other drops everything he's supposed to do to launch a rescue.  And who doesn't love the witty banter?  Witty banter is a sure-fire sign of meant-to-be.

2. Theo/Mickle - Westmark Trilogy, by Lloyd Alexander
Alexander is most widely known for his Chronicles of Prydain, but Westmark, in my opinion, far exceeds Taran's adventures - especially in the romance department.  Theo, the printer's devil-turned-reformer-turned-soldier-turned-who-knows-what-else, and Mickle, the beggar-girl-turned-queen, are the most realistic, refreshing pair I've read in a while - ironic, considering the books were written in the 80s.  There are no passionate speeches, no loving embraces... just the sturdy, dependable knowledge that they're in love and would do anything to find each other again when the time is right.  The last book, The Beggar Queen, is sitting on my to-read stack now, so I'm excited to find out how their story ends.

1. Sophie/Howl - Howl's Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones
Perhaps my favorite book of all time, Howl's Moving Castle has a great romance to match its outstanding story.  What do you get when you put a plain, straight-thinking girl who has been cursed with the body of a ninety-year-old to work for a vain, arrogant, but inwardly sweet wizard with a reputation of eating girls' hearts?  Again I say - flying sparks.  Everywhere.  It's pure delight to watch their relationship grow through constant shouting matches.  And Howl at the end... you'd just have to read it.

There they are, my top five in the polar categories.  Any additions or rebuttals?  

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